Monday, January 11, 2010

Nothing Personal...

I'm shocked at how much this feels like a bad breakup. One you never saw coming. In a relationship that you knew wasn't good, wasn't necessarily good for you. Definitely not the best you could do. But it was your relationship and you felt comfortable. Knew what to expect.
After being unexpectedly laid off yesterday this is how I feel. Did I love my job? No, not at all. It was nothing at all what it should have been, way below what was promised almost 5 years ago in that "lure you in" interview. It certainly wasn't going to offer me anything back in the future. But it was my job. And I held up my end by showing up and completing what needed to be done.
But to continue the bad boyfriend analogy...it was an abusive relationship. A toxic environment. Low morale. Complete with a wicked witch type person. but it was my bad relationship. My place to go, where I was needed. Where I could reasonably expect that paycheck to show up regularly in my bank account through the magic of direct deposit.

Then bam, go into work, turn on your computer, get your coffee and prepare to start your day...then get handed your termination letter. Wham! Punch to the gut. just like when that bad boyfriend has the gall to break up with you. How dare he/they. If this was going to end it was going to be on your terms, when you were ready.

it's not you...it's us...
We just need different things. Want to start the new year going in a different direction. No, don't look so upset...you're great baby. Punctual and efficient. The way you handle that keyboard makes us shiver. Really, if we needed what you've got we'd be golden. But things change, people change... Did you need some help packing up your office. No? Great, if you could just be out of here in 5 and talk to nobody on the way out.